Thursday, January 13, 2011
One year post earthquake
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the earthquake. I'll never forget watching some of the scenes that were played. Yesterday, the package that we had sent for Verlande was supposed to be brought to Eliette, our lawyer, in order to get it to Verlande when she can (hopefully) move to Eliette's. Robert Wagoner, who brought it for us, had asked to go see Verlande. We are still waiting to see if he was able to see her, which feels to me like a big connection for us- he'll be able to see her possibly! We will find out. I mostly just want Verlande to know we haven't given up on her since she knew we were trying a few months ago. To a 6 year old, she must think, well then.... where are they? WE ARE HERE VERLANDE, we are still trying our best and not giving up!!!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
LONG MONTH
So, it has been a long month. I am going to try to write more often, it should be easy to update this, so I just need to do it.
From our last post, we were disappointed to find a week later that Verlande's mother was not actually there to sign relinquishment. We were horrified a week later to find out "she is nowhere to be found".... HUH????
WHO WAS THAT IN THE PICTURES we've now been staring at for a week??!!!
Well, this is Haiti.
That was a woman that Vernet, Verlande's father, brought. a friend? girlfriend? random person maybe trying to get the papers signed, we do not know. In retrospect, no wonder there didn't seem any connection whatsoever with her and Verlande. No wonder the woman was pulling backwards in the pictures... a good reminder to listen to the gut.
Long story short:
*Verlande's mother can be found. Vernet knows where she is, but she is "unwilling to have anything to do with the future of Verlande". We don't know why, and we are not here to judge. I have no idea the reasons, the thoughts, the life. For the past month, we have been told, she'll sign, she won't sign, they can sign abandonment papers if she doesn't, oops, no now she 'll sign.... now she will not.
As of first week in January, our lawyer in PaP, Eliette, knows that we are very concerned, in so many regards, and has told us she hopes to get us some solid information by beginning of next week.
*The pastor of the orphanage does not want to work with us anymore because he wishes now, all of a sudden, that we use a lawyer friend of HIS, rather than our lawyer Eliette, who he already agreed to work with. So this makes things more complicted, but as long as we can get the parents relinquishment, we will be okay.(BOTH parents).
*Our homestudy is finished tomorrow on January 7th, our last visit. After this, we will have it all written up, which will help our USA side of adoption, although apparently that is far from all we do here.
*We met with a lawyer here for the USA side/immigration side, and our minds literally spun. Mine in particular spun so much that I could honestly barely WALK out... wierd that my legs and body and head were like un-connected parts. I couldn't even feel that my body was walking. I wanted Ryan to pull the car over. I felt sick. I dont' even know why. I think I'm too busy to even think why, and maybe too scared.
Maybe I worry-- so many people telling us of the possibilities of things- this COULD happen, that COULD happen (bad things, mind you- results of being adopted at age 6, etc)... I worry that she could end up 8 years old and maybe THEN we'd be lucky enough to adopt her. I worry, what if she is possibly BETTER OFF in Haiti???? could that be? I truly don't know. I don't know. I truly don't.. From OUR opinion, as American's, we want to give her health, life, opportunity, love, a HOME. Maybe this is not what we are meant to do though? We felt so strongly that we had been led to this path of adopting Verlande, maybe now we are being led away, maybe we aren't. Maybe we need to just remain with faith and let it be. Let what happens, HAPPEN.. But for something like this you cna't just "let" things happen, good GRIEF, it'll NEVER HAPPEN!! So you have to fight, have to work to make this life fair for Verlande, to give her the opportunity.
*Meanwhile, we are also trying to learn Haitia Creole- I bought Ryan for Xmas a series of tapes, (we started them earlier than Xmas because we thought we would possibly be skyping w/Verlande in January). It has honestly been so fun to begin learning a new language. We hope to at least be able to somewhat communicate w/ Verlande.
*Bottom line: we need Verlande's mother to sign relinquishment. Where is she, is ther ea way we can help her sign. I of course feel the urgent need to go to Haiti and find her and plead for her to sign these papers. She has 4-5 other children, she is lving with and has children with another man, she has not seen Verlande even before the earthquake/before the orphanage, apparently. We're not sure why she would not go, if it is just too much a bother to get to the court in PaP. I will carry her there on my back. Realistically, I will just have to pray.
From our last post, we were disappointed to find a week later that Verlande's mother was not actually there to sign relinquishment. We were horrified a week later to find out "she is nowhere to be found".... HUH????
WHO WAS THAT IN THE PICTURES we've now been staring at for a week??!!!
Well, this is Haiti.
That was a woman that Vernet, Verlande's father, brought. a friend? girlfriend? random person maybe trying to get the papers signed, we do not know. In retrospect, no wonder there didn't seem any connection whatsoever with her and Verlande. No wonder the woman was pulling backwards in the pictures... a good reminder to listen to the gut.
Long story short:
*Verlande's mother can be found. Vernet knows where she is, but she is "unwilling to have anything to do with the future of Verlande". We don't know why, and we are not here to judge. I have no idea the reasons, the thoughts, the life. For the past month, we have been told, she'll sign, she won't sign, they can sign abandonment papers if she doesn't, oops, no now she 'll sign.... now she will not.
As of first week in January, our lawyer in PaP, Eliette, knows that we are very concerned, in so many regards, and has told us she hopes to get us some solid information by beginning of next week.
*The pastor of the orphanage does not want to work with us anymore because he wishes now, all of a sudden, that we use a lawyer friend of HIS, rather than our lawyer Eliette, who he already agreed to work with. So this makes things more complicted, but as long as we can get the parents relinquishment, we will be okay.(BOTH parents).
*Our homestudy is finished tomorrow on January 7th, our last visit. After this, we will have it all written up, which will help our USA side of adoption, although apparently that is far from all we do here.
*We met with a lawyer here for the USA side/immigration side, and our minds literally spun. Mine in particular spun so much that I could honestly barely WALK out... wierd that my legs and body and head were like un-connected parts. I couldn't even feel that my body was walking. I wanted Ryan to pull the car over. I felt sick. I dont' even know why. I think I'm too busy to even think why, and maybe too scared.
Maybe I worry-- so many people telling us of the possibilities of things- this COULD happen, that COULD happen (bad things, mind you- results of being adopted at age 6, etc)... I worry that she could end up 8 years old and maybe THEN we'd be lucky enough to adopt her. I worry, what if she is possibly BETTER OFF in Haiti???? could that be? I truly don't know. I don't know. I truly don't.. From OUR opinion, as American's, we want to give her health, life, opportunity, love, a HOME. Maybe this is not what we are meant to do though? We felt so strongly that we had been led to this path of adopting Verlande, maybe now we are being led away, maybe we aren't. Maybe we need to just remain with faith and let it be. Let what happens, HAPPEN.. But for something like this you cna't just "let" things happen, good GRIEF, it'll NEVER HAPPEN!! So you have to fight, have to work to make this life fair for Verlande, to give her the opportunity.
*Meanwhile, we are also trying to learn Haitia Creole- I bought Ryan for Xmas a series of tapes, (we started them earlier than Xmas because we thought we would possibly be skyping w/Verlande in January). It has honestly been so fun to begin learning a new language. We hope to at least be able to somewhat communicate w/ Verlande.
*Bottom line: we need Verlande's mother to sign relinquishment. Where is she, is ther ea way we can help her sign. I of course feel the urgent need to go to Haiti and find her and plead for her to sign these papers. She has 4-5 other children, she is lving with and has children with another man, she has not seen Verlande even before the earthquake/before the orphanage, apparently. We're not sure why she would not go, if it is just too much a bother to get to the court in PaP. I will carry her there on my back. Realistically, I will just have to pray.
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