She showed us a picture of her sitting on Father Christmas' lap (santa clause), which was adorable. She looked huge actually... it always scares me to see her getting so big. We have missed so much. But it is okay because it will be SOON now!
I have been thinking more and more about her sitting on Father Christmas' lap, and wondering what she told him that she wanted. That was something that when I first visited Haiti, I had such wonders about.... what do these people hope for, what do they dream of? Or do they not even think this way? I am sure they do to some extent though, even if their life is more of a day to day survival situation. And it worried me that I shouldn't even wonder what they dreamed of.... maybe they really had it figured out- be happy IN THIS DAY, be in the now. Anyway, it brought those questions back to my mind, and I wonder what Verlande dreams of, what she used to dream of, if she has thoughts about what her life might be like, etc.
We are still in USCIS, I am eager for tomorrow, January 2nd, and for hopefully people at the embassy to get BACK TO WORK and approve our case, sending us on for VISA appointment! I don't know if it will happen this week, I don't know if it will not even happy IN January.... and yes, I have MUCH anxiety about this. I am praying for early, but to some extent, able to just let it be and let it happen when it is supposed to happen.
We are excited and really working to make this last part of the wait useful, we have Phoebe's room really divided up well I think and labelled- so Verlande will knwo where her pants go, and where phoebe's go, and where each kids shirts/sweatshirts go, and so forth. They each have their areas, and Phoebe has been really nice about helping figure out how to do this and clearing space and putting up labels for Verlande with me. The kids made Verlande a "welcome home" sign for the airport and I bought a little flag to put on the poster, the kids are trying to learn a few Creole words and I am trying to once every day or every other day, talk to them about some questions they may have, or some reminders of things that will have to be changed for a bit when she comes home. We have some winter clothes and sneakers for Verlande, a backpack for school, her bed is set. we are ready... APPROVE our I600!! :)
This time last year, January 1st... I went to Haiti to visit with Verlande. I was there one year ago... with her... I had no idea it would still be over a year.... (and that is a good thing probably). what a difference this New Years- I have HOPE. I have COMPLETE FAITH that THIS WILL HAPPEN. I know we will have ups and downs, but I have known that Verlande was my daughter since I saw her, and I know we will be okay. This is going to be okay. I know that when she comes ho me this year, there will be ups and downs.. When Verlande comes home, our REAL journey begins... I don't expect perfection, I just expect REAL... and I love real. I can do real. The word I am choosing to have as my overall 2013 word is LOVE. I will strive in all I do to be strong with love in my heart, and also soft with love in my heart. I will need both. I have such excitement for this year!
Happy New Year!
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