On the USA- side of the process...

And we are now in USCIS... (as of Tuesday, December 18)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am elated.  We got the passport and all documents translated back to english and are on the USA side of the adoption.
I am also full of anxiety.  So many people... frankly everyone... has been saying how this is "the longest part".... "the hardest part"... and that scares me.  I don't have much left in me.. I'm scared of being heartbroken in this final stage.  I fieel like it has worn me down and I don't know what will happen to me or my heart if we get "stuck" somehow.  If 5-7 more weeks turns to 10 weeks... I want it all to be so benchmark (or above average for speed, of course above average right.... )...I'm scared by how awful everyone has made the last part seem.

Part of me feels like it is OK.
TOTALLY OK... we KNOW we are going to be OK now.
We know now that she will come home.
Now it is all about impatience.. and frankly I can take that!

I feel a glimmer of hope as I am busy getting so many things "ready"... knowing that I am SURE we will be SO not ready.. after all these years, you would think I'd be totally on top of it all.. but I don't think that is POSSIBLE...
But, I am trying to organize -- to label where things go so that it is a bit clear for her.. of course we will show her, but just so it eliminates any confusion with things since she'll be sharing a room with Phoebe... I'm trying to organize "systems" and schedules-- how we do things so that hopefully they can just "run" seamlessly..
HA.. now isn't THAT funny... (as if that will happen.. or has ever happened in our family yet...)  but hey, I try.
I'm trying to make sure she has enough clothes to keep her warm, butnot too much in case I am guessing sizes wrong, making sure we have HAIR STUFF, doctors appointments lined up, dentists, health insurance ready to change (ok I haven't even mentioned that to Ryan yet so good thing I am typing this)...  trying to look early at flights, to get my work schedule ready to be a bit "flexible" without losing classes or clients!
Trying to anticipate food:  having apples, rice, chicken snacks ready, healthy plans, but also being ready to be somewhat flexible as she adjusts to our food...
trying to keep things the same for the kids as much as possible... but also every day to remind them of something for when Verlande does come home... that Phoebe should tell me if Verlande wants to sleep in her bunk with her (becuase she canNOT sleep on the top.. she is a disaster while sleeping- completely flailing her body into walls... I joke you not.....), to make sure Forrest doesn't use "made up words" that he uses sometimes being funny.. but Verlande will start to think those are real words.... to have discussions with Ryan to make sure we are on the same page with:  no TV unless I am doing her hair (we do let the kids watch shows, but there are numerous reasons we are doing this rule.... frankly.. it is just not  a good way to bond, but also other reasons)... other just "plain rules" that are just a given to make things simpler....

So, basically, I am hoping that we are just so busy in the next month that the time goes by super fast....
It could be 4 weeks until we find out our I600 is approved (this is our  next step).

Then:  VISA appointment date.. whenever this is scheduled for-- should not be more than 2 weeks after I600 approval... she is basically THROUGH.. her file just needs to go back to (the dreaded) IBESR (haitian social services) for an exit letter that we need for airport.
The timelines for some people have been going VERY quickly.. and I am so hopeful, but again.. scared to be hopeful... that we could possibly see some of these awesome time frames for us.
Would that just BE MIRACULOUS???!!!
I so would love to finish out the journey of bringing her home on such a wonderfully positive UPSWING!

So we are getting closer... sprucing up some Creole language to help with communication...
so thankful that this is the last Christmas without Verlande.

That being said, our hearts are also full of sadness for a family who just last week lost their son who they were about to bring HOME from Haiti.  Unimaginable sadness... Our thoughts and prayers are with this family, and it makes me realize, once again, the circumstances that these kids are living in.


Someone sent me the words to this song that it reminded them of us along this way... and it does amaze me that yes... we really do see and KNOW that we have never been alone... As heartbreaking as some of this has been... really almost everything that has happened, HAD to happen to make our situation possible...

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

-10,000 Reasons