2 years later:
It’s been two years since I’ve met Verlande. Two years since my life and perspective
changed forever.
I won’t lie. I wish
she were home. In a bed that we are too
scared to buy yet, in soft snuggly sheets, in her favorite color, purple. I wish I weren’t hyperventilating every time
my phone rang, thinking maybe this is GOOD NEWS on the line!!! I wish I didn’t have times of devastation
where I just simply do not understand… and I try too hard to understand why she
is not, why this process is so wrong.
But I also have more clear times where I am fully aware of
how much better each single day of the past two years has been; how much more
clear I am on my intentions for how I live my life, and how I spend my time.
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I am so thankful for the opportunity I had two years ago to
go with St. Matthews church on my first trip to Haiti. I had no idea what was in store. They have a team going again this year, and
going this weekend, and I am in awe of the wonder they are about to
experience.
I hope for each of them that their world is a bit rocked…
and I know it will beJ I hope there are times of deep questioning and
I know the scope of what they see with their own eyes will shake their
core. I know it shook my core, and
changed my makeup forever. I hope they
stop and see God in this beautiful land, in this broken land. Two years ago, we journaled as a group in the evenings, and one of our questions was: Where did
you see God today? And I knew right away. ALL DAY LONG: I saw God in the EYES of the Haitians I met,
in the butterflies that I saw, even amidst piles of rubble and garbage. I felt God when I woke to hear a woman
somewhere outside of our walls singing the most beautiful Amazing Grace- it
sounded like she were far away, but yet I could still hear it… I imagined it
was coming from the mountains I could see in the distance, but it probably was
coming from the streets that were about to become full of chaos for the
day. I just felt right, and I knew fully I was where I was supposed to be.
More than anything, there was something about Haiti where I
felt welcome and at home. I don’t think
I can explain it in words at all, because I don’t even quite understand it
myself. I felt home and completed. I knew I was exactly where I should be… maybe
because I feel that I truly was meant to find Verlande. She is completely so precious, and we are so
smitten with her, and have been since day 1.
Day ONE of the rest of our lives was when I saw this beautiful
spirit in little clothes that didn’t fit at all, but who was so full of energy
and spirit and smiles. When I saw this little sprite, her distinct eyes and personality, and just the connection, I
knew. I knew I was brought to Haiti, to
that orphanage, that wasn’t even a real orphanage, just a fenced off pile of
rubble… and was given a choice. And we
chose to listen and follow through on what we have had our eyes opened to. It essentially was always very simple.
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